I'm talking about that feeling when there's someone on television that makes you feel so hate filled and psychotic that you get a muscle start to twitch in your eyebrow region. The twitch sits there, laughing at you while you're poking it to try and stop it from irritating you further but it just carries on regardless.
Well muscle, I've got news for you, next time I will simply punch you in the bloody face.
Tonight I came across a true nemesis of mine on X Fucktor. Louis Walsh, without a doubt this vile, prejudiced, poisonous, scumbag leprechaun fuck somehow manages to tick all the boxes in my 'how to become a serial killer' eye spy book. Never before have I met someone that infuriates me as much as this potato farming shit. (Apart maybe from Katie Price, Katie Waissel, Cher Lloyd, The Pope and god)
The man is supposed to be very clever at spotting talent, He's been in the music industry for years and is solely responsible for those pointy haired inbred fucks Jedward. Speaking of Jedward, does anyone else think they may be just a little bit more than simply 'brothers'?
Tonight I watched the poisonous leprechaun making his decision as to which 4 acts he wanted to put through.
First up we had some weird looking fella, He looked like a cross between an anorexic Alan Carr and Lurch from the Addam's family. The tool couldn't even speak with a good tone to his voice, he sounded like he constantly was on the verge of pissing his pants and it really made me hope that he'd get hit by a falling satellite (1 in 14 trillion chance apparently). I have more chance of winning sympathetic caring superstar of the year award than he has winning X fucktor.
Oh deary me, next up with have Kitty Brucknell, If you've been a long term reader of my hate filled bile you'll know of my dislike of Katie Waissel and Cher Lloyd from the last series of this car crash television. Kitty looks set to become even more despised than the pair of them glued together.
She seems to think she's edgy, well if edgy is fake, rehearsed, calculated poorly timed publicity stunts then edgy she is. The other day when she auditioned to get into the final 4 Louis asked her "How do you feel it went?" She carefully took off her shoes and jumped into the swimming pool next to her without even answering the question she had been asked.
I prayed so hard that the cleaners had filled the pool with sulphuric acid or maybe some hungry great white sharks (not the one that ate that guys legs in South Africa, that'd just be ridiculous) or maybe that she had bricks in her pockets. Sadly it was not meant to be and she made it safely out of the other side and had a chat with Kermit O'Dreary. She is going to be in the live finals, she'll be protected by rule changes just like Katie Waissel and Cher 'Swagger Jagger wanker tanker' Lloyd so don't waste money voting to try and get her out. I just hope that her flashing leotard type affair malfunctions and electrocutes her.
Goldie - What the actual FUCK! She can't even speak let alone fucking sing! She is everything that an escaped mental patient should be. She's deluded to the point she could share a cell with some other crackerjack loon such as Martin Sheen. Goldie, you're batshit loopy and I worry about the state of world entertainment if people such as you are picked ahead of people that don't look like Zelda from the terrahawks.
I'm sure my anger levels will rise week in week out, but it's hard at this moment in time to imagine how. I hate this junk television with all of my heart, but for some reason can't help but watch bits of it, I think I just like punishing myself, but that's a whole different blog entry.
Have a nice night,
Dave.
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