The death of the English language!

Don't get me wrong, my English is FAR from perfect, in fact I have probably already made half a dozen grammatical errors. There is one thing in life that drives me mad (actually there are hundreds of things that drive me mad.... But let's leave that satanic arsehole Tesco's out of this blog)


The evil I am speaking of is something that has rapidly forced its way into our way of life and sadly shows no sign of departing, I am of course talking about txt spk!

Why is it that people feel the need to shorten words into some random bastardisation of its original self? It's not even lyk it is completely necessary really either, most mobile phones have autocomplete.

I use a voip software on my computer to talk to friends, it's free and very simple to use, but I noticed that even on that some people feel the need to abbreviate words when they are actually speaking to you in person.

When someone leaves the chat channel they often say BRB.... could you not just say be right back? or even I am desperate for a dump, if I don't go now you may hear noises that only my toilet should ever hear. I don't know if it is just convenience that makes people shorten their txt msgs or whether it is to disguise the fact that they are just very poor spellers, but I know one thing and that is the dire need for txt spk to FRO (Fuck right off)

The younger generations are losing all understanding of how vital a good vocabulary is and it's not going to get betr unless we make a stand against it m8s! Is it that much of a hardship to include 1 or 2 extra letters in your message? I suppose cost effectiveness could also be a reason but if you can't afford an extra 10p for a message then might I suggest you sell your phone and string 2 bean cans together for a free conversation with your loved ones.

A few of my most hated txt wrds r:

D or Da - The, it's a fucking three letter word, omg (oh my god) why on earth are you so fucking lazy?

Wen - When, again it takes more effort to remember the bastard abbreviation than to type the full pissing word!

Dat - That, lazy sod.

I know that it is vital to punt out a minimum of 40 text messages every 90 seconds so that you can get back to watching who's going to be unveiled as the feckless dad of the Chinese baby on Jeremy Kyle (the 5 'fathers' in the studio are made up of 3 black guys a white woman and a poodle) but just take a minute to save our English!

The Americans have already taken English, claimed it as their own and tinkered with it to make things less confusing for them :(

For some reason they feel the need to call Aluminium aluminum, and jewellery jewelry, that's half understandable though, but please call it the American language as we don't want to be lumped in with your spelling mistakes!

So yeah, Tesco's sucks, I went there again today and some fat bird and I mean REALLY fat nearly got her shit served when she tried to take the last £1 Cherry pie that I had earmarked for dessert after my Sunday dinner.

wel dats bout it 4 2nite, Im off 2 \_/ 22 pints of Stella yl -ing c@ hairs frm my shell suit.

Weirdly Shell suit comes out as the correct words, I suppose that's because my fashion sense is 20 years behind the times and txt spk was just a dribble in a chav's pants back then.


Have a good evening, if you agree with me and want the death of this abomination of the English language then please tell just say 4Q!

Big love,

Dave.