gullible
ˈɡʌləb(ə)l/
adjective
- easily persuaded to believe something; credulous.
"an attempt to persuade a gullible public to spend their money"
Why are some people so absolutely lacking in common sense that they can't see through a scam or a viral message that is utterly false? These fucking spunk trumpets form a sadly ever growing community of people that should be tethered to a balloon and left to float off into space. They serve next to no purpose other than for the amusement of people who are more intelligent than a brain injured cow.
But Dave I hear you ask, what the fuck do you mean? How can people be THAT fucking stupid? It surely isn't even possible!?!?!?
Sadly it is, some people are so gullible you could sell them any cock and bull story and they'd blindly follow it like a lemming off of a cliff.
So let us take a quick look at some of the shit people tend to believe.......
THE FAKE COUPON
Ah yes, the fucking fake fucking coupon....... A favourite myth of many a fucking mouth breather. "OMG LOOK!!!!" "They are giving everybody a voucher worth £___ because it is 25 years since a pigeon got run over in their car park".
But they aren't, are they? You absolute fucking bumhole, how much would it cost a company like Aldi, Tesco or others to give everybody that clicked 'accept' a voucher for this much money? I mean are you really that stupid that you think it is going to happen? They don't even let you use your loyalty points for fucking fuel, so they are hardly going to give you a fuck ton of shit for nothing are they?
Give your fucking head a wobble you retard.
THE RANGE ROVER GIVEAWAY
Do you honestly think for one fucking second that you're getting a free Range rover? Do you not find it amazing that each time this fucking 'competition' appears it clearly states 'for the FIRST time in Facebook history' even though this message seems to appear every 3 fucking weeks?
Just tell us what colour you'd like in a comment, wave a tampon above your head for 30 seconds and recite the Lord's prayer backwards in Swahili and you could be a winner! Only you're not going to be a winner are you? You know why? Because the page that supposedly is Range rover's 'official' page has 258 likes! Of course it isn't fucking genuine, but you knock yourself out trying to win an imaginary car.......
In fact, want to buy some magic fucking beans? I have only 47000 left, they normally retail for £8000 each but I will do you a deal for just £20 each!
Just comment with your full name, sort code, bank account number and mother's maiden fucking name.
Do you even realise how big of a disappointment you are? Not only to your direct family, but to the whole of humankind!
FACEBOOK ARE GOING TO CHARGE YOU!
Oh yeah, it's official alright! You're officially a gullible cock juggling thundercunt. How many more times is this going to surface? How many more times do I need to fucking point out that it is and always will be a fucking hoax? I am so tired of watching idiots tripping over their tongues in blind panic that they might be charged for using this shit that it is becoming very tiresome. The only charge you should receive should be through an electric fucking chair for so fucking simple!
THE UGANDAN LOTTERY
Anybody falling for this one needs sealing in a fucking giant tupperware tub and burying alive. Don't worry, we'll leave instructions to dig you up in 40 years, and hopefully by then they will have a cure for fucking stupid.
The premise is simple, you are emailed by a random 'lawyer' who tells you that you have won $42 billion UGD. Sounds fucking amazing doesn't it? All you need to do is send £10,000 to a generic Ugandan bank account that has been set up with a false name and address to 'unlock' the funds and hey fucking presto you'll be fucking rich!
The problem comes when
A) The money doesn't appear in your bank within 72 hours
B) $42bn UGD is converted to approximately £42.50 and a packet of crisps.
C) you sold your vital organs for the 'arrangement fee'
and
D) You have probably already accidentally nailed yourself to a fucking tree because you are an actual fucking idiot.
So to sum up.........
Why are people so fucking stupid these days? I mean I could literally be a fucking millionaire if I had no conscience. I could scam fools left right and centre out of their hard earned cash, milk tokens and probably even their shoes if I wanted to. But I can't bring myself to do it, because it would be taking advantage of the people I hope will become fucking human shields should world war 3 break out in the not too distant future.
God bless the gullible, not only do they help others get rich, they also provide us with countless hours of fucking entertainment.
If any of these apply to you and you know me personally I would request that you come and find me either at home or at work so I can slap you in the chops for being a fucking dime bar.
Next up will be cyclists, I hate those fucking pedal powered fucks!
Speak soon :)
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