Last night Kelly was watching a TV show about a children's hospital. The work done by the doctors and nurses is phenomenal and I can't sing their praises loudly enough.
However, one woman on the program really made me so angry I was forced to turn the channel over because of how much of a horrible trampy slag whore she was.
Her child was born prematurely and had numerous medical issues including difficulty in breathing. The filthy, no good, lowlife slag gave birth to this child then when she was able to go home she did so, knowing that her baby was in a bad way. Obviously the baby had to stay and be treated, the mother (I use the term loosely) didn't visit her sick child for 15 days..... 15 FUCKING DAYS ! ! ! ! Worse than that the lowlife sack of shit wasn't even getting in contact to find out how the poor little mite was doing.
The child needed an operation and they were unable to carry it out without the child carrier's (I prefer this to mother) consent, so the baby lay there suffering because she didn't come along to see what was going on. The worst was yet to come.
When the cameras went to see her she told the crew:
"I can't go and see him because I live 14 miles from the hospital, I have 2 other kids to look after and I am on benefits...."
Well darling I don't give a flying fuck about your personal circumstances, There were at least two of your chavtastic, knuckle dragging, mouth breathing "crew" in the flat grabbing at their 5 minutes of fame with their filthy shit stained talons. Could you not have had them look after your 2 kids while you went to check on the well being of your newborn you utter TWUNT!
I'd drag myself 14 miles by my tongue to be with a child of mine regardless of whether it was healthy or gravely ill, having to rely on public transport is no fucking excuse for not being there, even if it's 1 afternoon in 3 or 4.
Then she came out with these pearls of wisdom:
"If anything does go wrong he's in the right place and can be looked after, but if anything happened to one of my other kids I'd never be able to forgive myself."
Sorry, so you value the lives of certain children above the life of your sick kid??? There's something wrong with you darling, and I'm not just talking about the crack head look in your eyes, the black teeth and the fact you've got the IQ of a simple tadpole.
so she finally turns up 15 days later, arriving at the hospital 5 minutes after her child has been transferred to another hospital... blinding, you pond scum tramp.
She gives permission for the operation to go ahead and fucks off back home to rent her chili hoop out for a good smashing from any filthy old man looking for a good time. Surely being a crack head hooker from the ghetto would give you enough to buy a bus ticket. Post operation and the horrible bitch still hadn't gone back up to 8 days later.
People like this should be put down, their kids given to families that will bring them up in a caring and stable environment and her vital organs should be donated to people that can make use of them, and by that I mean not hanging around in the local kids park jacking up and drinking white lightning from a tramps shoe.
I don't claim to be the perfect parent, in fact far from it, but there is nothing and I mean NOTHING that would prevent me from being there for my poorly child.
Get fucked you burberry wearing skank whore.
Much love,
Dave.
Wednesday, 22 June 2011
Friday, 3 June 2011
Now I know why I bought a car!
Why is it that women only want you to go for a long walk with them when it's 400 degrees C in the shade?
Kelly in her infinite wisdom told me to grab the camera as we were going for a leisurely stroll around Ely. The sirens and flashing lights immediately began to sound their disapproval of this legal form of torture but it was hopeless, I was as doomed as an inmate at guantanamo bay, there was no escaping and I briefly considered faking my own death to avoid going.
Sadly I don't think even that would have prevented me from what I can only describe as sheer agony.We left the house around 7:30pm and wandered down to the local lakes, took a few photo's of the Cathedral, the lakes, the ducks, the trees, the floor and anything else that happened to be within range of the lens.
Kelly, can we go home now? Seriously babes I'm tired, I'm bored and I'm missing something vitally important on TV. But no... of course not, fat boy's going to be doing a lot more than 312 paces this time let me tell you.
We set off on our way down along the river, it was at this point I realised there was a major problem.... NO mosquito repellent! Now for those of you that don't live in the boonies let me enlighten you on a few things. Nowhere else in the country has as many inter family marriages, nor as many people with a third arm growing out of their arse. The other thing we have an abundance of is mosquito's, big bastards, like hyenas with wings. They don't just bite you, they tear chunks off of you and can comfortably gulp a pint of O-Negative in less time than it takes you to scream "Blood transfusion!"
In the distance I could hear a faint buzzing, as we continued to walk the buzzing got louder and louder, maybe someones mowing their lawn? maybe there's a helicopter looking for 7 eyed Mongo from Pymoor who had escaped from his cellar...... No such luck, with the flying skills of the red arrows they set upon me, I was swiping at them like it was going out of fashion but they just hit me back harder every time I caught one. I swear I hit one with the force of a steam train doing 75 miles per hour, it hit the deck, SUCCESS ! ! !... or maybe not! It laid there motionless for a moment, then like a zombie corpse from Michael Jacksons thriller it slowly began to haul itself back to its feet. It gave me a look as if to say "you're going to regret that pal!".... I began to run (waddle) the buzzing getting louder and louder behind me, damn you fitness levels! The snakey little sod bit me right between the shoulder blades, I have the lump to prove it. (I'd show you but the women would just get all flustered by my mega hairy back)
As suddenly as they'd attacked they vanished, well they couldn't have gotten much more blood out of me if they'd tried. on we toddled, looking back every so often to make sure they weren't following us home. That's when I saw the cows, now being married to one I thought I understood these dumb looking creatures, wrong again Dave. They had calves with them and they looked pretty annoyed that we'd invaded their personal space, they eyeballed us all the way across that damned field, I could feel them staring into my actual soul.... (If I had one that is).
by this time my feet were officially on strike and refusing to lift themselves off of the floor, Shuffling along with a limp that'd make Quasimodo jealous I continued my journey. I think the limp may have been the mating call of the lesser spotted inbred yokel, I got some rather raunchy looks from a woman with a wooden leg and from a 70 year old woman with more teeth in her pocket than her mouth.
Tomorrow I plan on doing a lot more walking, I will walk to the bathroom, the car and then to the bedroom when I can lift my fat arse off of the sofa. 5 or so miles covered, I need an Indian takeaway!
However I'll simply settle for my bowl of highly flavoured porridge...
Good night,
Speak soon,
Dave.
Kelly in her infinite wisdom told me to grab the camera as we were going for a leisurely stroll around Ely. The sirens and flashing lights immediately began to sound their disapproval of this legal form of torture but it was hopeless, I was as doomed as an inmate at guantanamo bay, there was no escaping and I briefly considered faking my own death to avoid going.
Sadly I don't think even that would have prevented me from what I can only describe as sheer agony.We left the house around 7:30pm and wandered down to the local lakes, took a few photo's of the Cathedral, the lakes, the ducks, the trees, the floor and anything else that happened to be within range of the lens.
Kelly, can we go home now? Seriously babes I'm tired, I'm bored and I'm missing something vitally important on TV. But no... of course not, fat boy's going to be doing a lot more than 312 paces this time let me tell you.
We set off on our way down along the river, it was at this point I realised there was a major problem.... NO mosquito repellent! Now for those of you that don't live in the boonies let me enlighten you on a few things. Nowhere else in the country has as many inter family marriages, nor as many people with a third arm growing out of their arse. The other thing we have an abundance of is mosquito's, big bastards, like hyenas with wings. They don't just bite you, they tear chunks off of you and can comfortably gulp a pint of O-Negative in less time than it takes you to scream "Blood transfusion!"
In the distance I could hear a faint buzzing, as we continued to walk the buzzing got louder and louder, maybe someones mowing their lawn? maybe there's a helicopter looking for 7 eyed Mongo from Pymoor who had escaped from his cellar...... No such luck, with the flying skills of the red arrows they set upon me, I was swiping at them like it was going out of fashion but they just hit me back harder every time I caught one. I swear I hit one with the force of a steam train doing 75 miles per hour, it hit the deck, SUCCESS ! ! !... or maybe not! It laid there motionless for a moment, then like a zombie corpse from Michael Jacksons thriller it slowly began to haul itself back to its feet. It gave me a look as if to say "you're going to regret that pal!".... I began to run (waddle) the buzzing getting louder and louder behind me, damn you fitness levels! The snakey little sod bit me right between the shoulder blades, I have the lump to prove it. (I'd show you but the women would just get all flustered by my mega hairy back)
As suddenly as they'd attacked they vanished, well they couldn't have gotten much more blood out of me if they'd tried. on we toddled, looking back every so often to make sure they weren't following us home. That's when I saw the cows, now being married to one I thought I understood these dumb looking creatures, wrong again Dave. They had calves with them and they looked pretty annoyed that we'd invaded their personal space, they eyeballed us all the way across that damned field, I could feel them staring into my actual soul.... (If I had one that is).
by this time my feet were officially on strike and refusing to lift themselves off of the floor, Shuffling along with a limp that'd make Quasimodo jealous I continued my journey. I think the limp may have been the mating call of the lesser spotted inbred yokel, I got some rather raunchy looks from a woman with a wooden leg and from a 70 year old woman with more teeth in her pocket than her mouth.
Tomorrow I plan on doing a lot more walking, I will walk to the bathroom, the car and then to the bedroom when I can lift my fat arse off of the sofa. 5 or so miles covered, I need an Indian takeaway!
However I'll simply settle for my bowl of highly flavoured porridge...
Good night,
Speak soon,
Dave.
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