Good morning everyone!
It's been quite a long time since I last wrote anything hate filled or spiteful, and to be honest I miss it..... So when I saw a particular news article yesterday it got me thinking, and the more I thought the more I was in disbelief.
We'll kick off with a game of spot the difference, nothing too taxing but it seems even this may be a step too far in the process of recruiting members of the public yo the police force.
OK, let's analyze the pictures, one of these is is a 61 year old blind man, the other is a highly skilled samurai warrior who spent years honing their fighting skills to become the perfect killing machine. I know some people will be saying "But Dave, that's not a fair test, not everyone with a samurai sword would be in full armour!" and you know what? You're only fucking right! Let's try this again... after all this test will allow you to join our elite crime prevention establishment.
One of these could be used as a tool for bringing death, it has been used for thousands of years as a weapon to inflict serious injury or death, the other is a Samurai sword and I'd not recommend throwing it up into a conker tree to dislodge a fucking three'er that you could bake in the oven to become king fucking ding a ling of the playground. I'm sure even a mouth breathing oxygen thief could tell the difference, so why can't the fucking police?
I am of course talking about poor old Colin Farmer, a 61 year old Lancashire man who was on his way out to meet friends (very slowly I'd imagine) when some upstanding pillar of the community called the police to inform them that there was a man roaming the streets of Chorley armed with a sword.
An officer was soon enough dispatched to unleash appropriate justice on what could be Chorley's biggest serial killer in history, and before long Pc dipshit located our dangerous assassin. Without warning dipshit fired a 50,000 volt taser into Mr Farmer's back, dropping him to the floor like a sack of shit.
"I'm blind, I'm blind!" shouted Mr Farmer, but robocop was on a mission, after leaving his victim twitching on the floor dipshit knelt on his back and cuffed him.
Now I don't profess to be the brightest person on the planet, I have certainly fucked up more than my fair share of times. But this story is frightening, what would have happened if this turd in a blue suit had been armed with a firearm rather than lightning in a can? Would Mr Farmer's family be burying him next week after the poor old boy being shot full of holes by a clearly dangerous officer of the law.
I am truly speechless (clearly not ACTUALLY speechless, like that's EVER going to happen!) of the scale of ineptitude shown in more and more cases concerning a lack of common sense. Don't believe me? Then your honour I give you case number 2!!!
Policeman calls in backup, for dangerous brush with the moon....
I shit you not, a few months back a police officer radioed back to his yard claiming he was off to investigate a bright light coming from the hills ahead of him. Our brave keeper of the peace ploughed onward to face whatever horrors lay ahead of him. Could it be drug dealers? Arms smugglers? or maybe a UFO?
None of the fucking above, our brave hero had found something on a much larger scale, something of interplanetary proportions... THE FUCKING MOON! I shit you not, the bright light he was stalking through the hills was the fucking moon, I mean really how do they pick new officers these days? Do they play spin the fucking bottle or look for someone that can almost tie their own shoelaces and nearly tell the time on a 'big boys clock'.
I would have gone missing in action if that had been me, I'm serious I'd have gone home, packed my shit up and moved to Angola. Once there I'd take a job on a farm, counting cows or something equally as important, apply to be on Angolan X factor, sung a song by the cheeky girls and lived in a tree.
Much love,
Dave
p.s I'll try not to leave it so long next time.
I am of course talking about poor old Colin Farmer, a 61 year old Lancashire man who was on his way out to meet friends (very slowly I'd imagine) when some upstanding pillar of the community called the police to inform them that there was a man roaming the streets of Chorley armed with a sword.
An officer was soon enough dispatched to unleash appropriate justice on what could be Chorley's biggest serial killer in history, and before long Pc dipshit located our dangerous assassin. Without warning dipshit fired a 50,000 volt taser into Mr Farmer's back, dropping him to the floor like a sack of shit.
"I'm blind, I'm blind!" shouted Mr Farmer, but robocop was on a mission, after leaving his victim twitching on the floor dipshit knelt on his back and cuffed him.
Now I don't profess to be the brightest person on the planet, I have certainly fucked up more than my fair share of times. But this story is frightening, what would have happened if this turd in a blue suit had been armed with a firearm rather than lightning in a can? Would Mr Farmer's family be burying him next week after the poor old boy being shot full of holes by a clearly dangerous officer of the law.
I am truly speechless (clearly not ACTUALLY speechless, like that's EVER going to happen!) of the scale of ineptitude shown in more and more cases concerning a lack of common sense. Don't believe me? Then your honour I give you case number 2!!!
Policeman calls in backup, for dangerous brush with the moon....
I shit you not, a few months back a police officer radioed back to his yard claiming he was off to investigate a bright light coming from the hills ahead of him. Our brave keeper of the peace ploughed onward to face whatever horrors lay ahead of him. Could it be drug dealers? Arms smugglers? or maybe a UFO?
None of the fucking above, our brave hero had found something on a much larger scale, something of interplanetary proportions... THE FUCKING MOON! I shit you not, the bright light he was stalking through the hills was the fucking moon, I mean really how do they pick new officers these days? Do they play spin the fucking bottle or look for someone that can almost tie their own shoelaces and nearly tell the time on a 'big boys clock'.
I would have gone missing in action if that had been me, I'm serious I'd have gone home, packed my shit up and moved to Angola. Once there I'd take a job on a farm, counting cows or something equally as important, apply to be on Angolan X factor, sung a song by the cheeky girls and lived in a tree.
Much love,
Dave
p.s I'll try not to leave it so long next time.
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