So let's talk some more about men's mental health. I'm saying this because us guys find it very hard to show what we have been taught is 'weakness' when that couldn't honestly be further from the truth.
- Ever feel lonely even though you're surrounded by colleagues, friends and family?
- Ever feel like you don't deserve to be happy and that you're worthless?
- Ever cry without any idea whatsoever as to why?
You do? Well allow me to let you into a little secret........
ME TOO!!!
But you know something? It's not just you and I, no no my friends, there are millions of us out there. We're there fighting back the tears in public, we're putting on a brave face and we're trying to fool people into thinking that we're the stereotypical macho men that don't have a care in the world all in the name of being the 'alpha' sex.
Well you know something, the only person we're kidding is ourself. We're not weak because we cry, we're not tragic because we are drowning in our own thoughts, not even close.
We are HUMAN, and some of us are tricked into the inky blackness of depression, others are just dropped smack bang into the middle of an ocean of despair, but it's not the end of the road my friends, all is NOT lost, in fact I want to tell you that it is the exact OPPOSITE!
Depression is the beginning of a huge journey of self discovery! At first it will make you feel like you can't win, it will make you doubt yourself, it will make you paranoid but at the same time not give a shit, and it will make you believe that you can't ever escape, but you CAN and you WILL!
Depression and mental health issues aren't the boss of you, they aren't in control, they are merely an obstacle that we need to overcome.
There is no shame in raising a metaphorical hand and saying with confidence 'I NEED HELP' it is perfectly ok to not be ok, but you know what isn't ok? What's not ok is leaving yourself not being ok, because you deserve better.
Everybody battles this disease differently, some people get a Doctor's appointment and are put on medication, others are offered counselling and the opportunity to talk to experts that can help you to process your emotions, to file away your triggers one by one, and some people need all of the above!
Along the way you'll suffer knockbacks, you'll cry because the wind is blowing in the wrong direction, and you'll wake up wondering what the point of anything actually is. This too is ABSOLUTELY normal for your situation, depression will try and trick you into hating yourself, but that's all it is! It is a chemical imbalance in our brains that exaggerates negativity, it causes our happiness to be shrouded in a primordial fog, but we never leave, we are still there, completely intact and ready to be rescued.
Please remember that it's NOT forever, please understand that you're NOT alone, if you're feeling awful drop me a message and I'll be there right by your side, if not in person then in spirit, and I won't abandon you.
There are some amazing support services out there, ranging from the Samaritans to family members, friends and GP's
Use them, lean on them for support and they will lift you when you are feeling like you're losing.
It took me a long time to understand that my tears and sorrow didn't make me less of a man, and once you understand that you'll be on the right path and headed for better times.
Much love,
Dave.
