It really can be the most wonderful time of the year, but at the same time it can bring with it an emotional, financial and psychologically testing time too.
Think about it, the strain of keeping up with the trends of toys, tech and fashion for our children can make paying important bills tricky, Kelly and I have experienced this in years gone by, and it has certainly taken an emotional toll on us as we've scrimped and saved and gone without to keep up with the spending levels of friends and family.
Many people have lost loved ones around the festive period, and this time of year drags up painful memories of loss, it can cause feelings of isolation and loneliness to resurface year after year, these people experience this every year at a time we're all losing sight of what's important, because as I said above we feel duty bound to bankrupt ourselves to get the 'best' presents. And while we're doing this we're forgetting to look after number 1, so that we can better look after others.
Well let's think about all of this a little.
The other day I was talking to Katie (14 years old) and she was telling me about her friend that goes to America for a holiday every single year. They were having a conversation and Katie mentioned that we were going camping in Cornwall for our summer vacation. As puzzling as it was initially Katie's friend's eyes LIT UP at the idea of camping! "I wish we could do something like that, my mum and dad spend a fortune doing the exact same thing year in year out and it gets boring!"
And that's a huge point I'd like to make, the best memories are those things that are out of the ordinary, you get a new £5000 watch every year and it isn't a thrill, you get something like that once every few years and WOW! The BEST memories come from feelings and emotions, not from expenditure.
Another thing Katie said to me is that some of her friends feel unloved by their parents, and that she'd rather have the family life she does than all the money in the world (she is so wise for her age) and to hear that brought tears to my eyes (that I can feel creeping into the corner of my eyes as I type this)
So my point......
Make memories this Christmas, don't be suckered in by the adverts that draw you into a materialistic world. Playing a board game together and laughing until your stomach muscles ache and it feels like your face needs medical assistance. We don't NEED to spend a fortune, we tend to feel pressured to.
And while I'm talking, let's touch on how people feel at Christmas.
I know as well as anybody the HUGE psychological strain of Christmas, a time where everybody is upbeat and buzzing around like worker bees, going from shop to shop collecting the nectar to make the hive happy. So why is it that I often feel tired, emotional and generally hollow at this time of year? I mean how can anybody feel depressed at Christmas?
Well let's be honest, it's not like we can help how we feel is it? Depression doesn't have a set pattern, the triggers are different for everybody, in fact for a lot of people there are simply no triggers at all. This can lead to growing frustration and feelings of guilt that we can't explain, but that then soak into our soul dragging us deeper and deeper into the murky darkness that claims the sanity of so many good people each year.
What can we do to fix it? Well first of all I think we need to accept that we can't control how we feel directly. We can rationalise the fact that we're not intentionally feeling like we're worthless, but yet we still do. The key to fixing it is obviously different for each person as no two cases are ever the same, but we can take steps to help drag ourselves out of this fog before we fall too deep.
- Talk to people, a problem shared is not necessarily a problem halved but it is a problem that isn't hidden any longer. If people understand that we are struggling then they are more understanding of why we want to hide under a blanket and let the world pass us by.
- Go and see our doctor. It goes without saying that medication DOES work and I know this because it has helped me on numerous occasions. BUT, yes that's a big but, it doesn't always fix us completely. So get out, try to fight those feelings of isolation, and talk yourself into going to see auntie Barbara and uncle Maurice, even though their house smells of old people and boiled cabbage. The less time we spend hiding the easier it becomes to keep socially active.
- Smile, yes I know this is a contentious point but stick with me. Bang on a stand up comedy show you like, talk to a friend that makes you laugh like a maniac, do everything within your power to remain positive. It's not easy I get that, I have told many people to fuck off when they've told me that positivity fixes depression IT DOESN'T, but it can certainly help us to battle it if we buy into it.
Well, if you've made it this far I thank you, as it is fairly long winded, but at this time of year more than ever we need to keep on top of our own health. I want you all to have a great festive period, but I also have a huge favour to ask before I go.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE check in on somebody you know is, or has in the past, struggled to cope with mental health. If we can all just check up on one person in this situation then we improve the quality of life for somebody with just a few simple words, don't tell them to snap out of it, don't ask them what they have to be depressed about, just say something like this.
Hey __________,
Just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and to say that I love you and value you as a friend. If there is EVER anything you need, or want to chat about over a coffee then drop me a message and we'll get it sorted.
You are loved,
Dave x
It's that simple, and a message like that could LITERALLY save a life. The smallest action can have the biggest impact if it is genuine and comes from the heart.
Merry Christmas to all of my beautiful friends, if you need me you know where I am, I'll even have my phone with me on Christmas day, and NOTHING is more important to me than knowing that the people I love are safe and well, so drop me a message if you need to talk, shout HELP! if you're struggling and I'm there.
I love each and every one of you,
Dave x
Think about it, the strain of keeping up with the trends of toys, tech and fashion for our children can make paying important bills tricky, Kelly and I have experienced this in years gone by, and it has certainly taken an emotional toll on us as we've scrimped and saved and gone without to keep up with the spending levels of friends and family.
Many people have lost loved ones around the festive period, and this time of year drags up painful memories of loss, it can cause feelings of isolation and loneliness to resurface year after year, these people experience this every year at a time we're all losing sight of what's important, because as I said above we feel duty bound to bankrupt ourselves to get the 'best' presents. And while we're doing this we're forgetting to look after number 1, so that we can better look after others.
Well let's think about all of this a little.
The other day I was talking to Katie (14 years old) and she was telling me about her friend that goes to America for a holiday every single year. They were having a conversation and Katie mentioned that we were going camping in Cornwall for our summer vacation. As puzzling as it was initially Katie's friend's eyes LIT UP at the idea of camping! "I wish we could do something like that, my mum and dad spend a fortune doing the exact same thing year in year out and it gets boring!"
And that's a huge point I'd like to make, the best memories are those things that are out of the ordinary, you get a new £5000 watch every year and it isn't a thrill, you get something like that once every few years and WOW! The BEST memories come from feelings and emotions, not from expenditure.
Another thing Katie said to me is that some of her friends feel unloved by their parents, and that she'd rather have the family life she does than all the money in the world (she is so wise for her age) and to hear that brought tears to my eyes (that I can feel creeping into the corner of my eyes as I type this)
So my point......
Make memories this Christmas, don't be suckered in by the adverts that draw you into a materialistic world. Playing a board game together and laughing until your stomach muscles ache and it feels like your face needs medical assistance. We don't NEED to spend a fortune, we tend to feel pressured to.
And while I'm talking, let's touch on how people feel at Christmas.
I know as well as anybody the HUGE psychological strain of Christmas, a time where everybody is upbeat and buzzing around like worker bees, going from shop to shop collecting the nectar to make the hive happy. So why is it that I often feel tired, emotional and generally hollow at this time of year? I mean how can anybody feel depressed at Christmas?
Well let's be honest, it's not like we can help how we feel is it? Depression doesn't have a set pattern, the triggers are different for everybody, in fact for a lot of people there are simply no triggers at all. This can lead to growing frustration and feelings of guilt that we can't explain, but that then soak into our soul dragging us deeper and deeper into the murky darkness that claims the sanity of so many good people each year.
What can we do to fix it? Well first of all I think we need to accept that we can't control how we feel directly. We can rationalise the fact that we're not intentionally feeling like we're worthless, but yet we still do. The key to fixing it is obviously different for each person as no two cases are ever the same, but we can take steps to help drag ourselves out of this fog before we fall too deep.
- Talk to people, a problem shared is not necessarily a problem halved but it is a problem that isn't hidden any longer. If people understand that we are struggling then they are more understanding of why we want to hide under a blanket and let the world pass us by.
- Go and see our doctor. It goes without saying that medication DOES work and I know this because it has helped me on numerous occasions. BUT, yes that's a big but, it doesn't always fix us completely. So get out, try to fight those feelings of isolation, and talk yourself into going to see auntie Barbara and uncle Maurice, even though their house smells of old people and boiled cabbage. The less time we spend hiding the easier it becomes to keep socially active.
- Smile, yes I know this is a contentious point but stick with me. Bang on a stand up comedy show you like, talk to a friend that makes you laugh like a maniac, do everything within your power to remain positive. It's not easy I get that, I have told many people to fuck off when they've told me that positivity fixes depression IT DOESN'T, but it can certainly help us to battle it if we buy into it.
Well, if you've made it this far I thank you, as it is fairly long winded, but at this time of year more than ever we need to keep on top of our own health. I want you all to have a great festive period, but I also have a huge favour to ask before I go.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE check in on somebody you know is, or has in the past, struggled to cope with mental health. If we can all just check up on one person in this situation then we improve the quality of life for somebody with just a few simple words, don't tell them to snap out of it, don't ask them what they have to be depressed about, just say something like this.
Hey __________,
Just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and to say that I love you and value you as a friend. If there is EVER anything you need, or want to chat about over a coffee then drop me a message and we'll get it sorted.
You are loved,
Dave x
It's that simple, and a message like that could LITERALLY save a life. The smallest action can have the biggest impact if it is genuine and comes from the heart.
Merry Christmas to all of my beautiful friends, if you need me you know where I am, I'll even have my phone with me on Christmas day, and NOTHING is more important to me than knowing that the people I love are safe and well, so drop me a message if you need to talk, shout HELP! if you're struggling and I'm there.
I love each and every one of you,
Dave x
