Sunday 29 March 2015

Video games gave me herpes!!!

No, of course they fucking didn't.....



But let's be honest the world wants to blame games for the ills of the world, the reason that people kill each other on the streets and the reason that psychopaths become serial killers.

When I grew up I played  a lot of Monopoly, a game that should have taught me to be a wanker and charge the poor extortionate rent for a dingy one bedroom maisonette that had smoke damage and smelled of cat piss on Old Kent fucking road.

Another popular board game when I was young was called RISK! In a nutshell it was a map divided up into territories and the idea was to eliminate all of the other players by taking their land by force. I never did feel the need to overthrow the French government, and in actual fact I do believe that a nutter tried this LONG before the board game was thought of....... His name was Hitler, he was a massive bell end, he didn't play video games either.

In the news today it has been mentioned, nay recommended that any parents allowing their children to play video games of an age rating higher than their tender years should be visited and potentially ARRESTED by the police! Really? I mean.... REALLY????

What these silly plastic shoe wearing, tree hugging, soppy bollock left wing toerags seem to be ignoring is one painstakingly obvious flaw in their thinking, crime predates video games, electricity and even toilet roll. Yes, people were still cleaning their rusty sherriff's badges with a leaf or their hand when crime and violence were rife.

Thousands of years ago people were crucified, stoned to death and if you believe in the bible (That is a whole other topic I will get into one day) wiped from the earth via genocidal floods. I don't believe that GTA V or Call of Duty ever covered these events, unless I happened to miss the GTA V Nazareth update where cars were replaced with Donkeys.

The simple truth remains, if you are nuts you will forever be nuts, a video game does not a serial killer make. Can you imagine that Harold Shipman sat down for a game of destiny each night before plotting to bump off another old biddy? Did Hitler use Command and Conquer to plot his ethnic cleansing of the free world? Of course they fucking didn't.

I allow my kids to pay certain games, some are for children above their age range, others are not. I do this because I am not a lazy parent. I can use a game to explain to children why shooting a policeman would be a very bad thing. It is easy for these dicks to blame society, social media and anything else that happens to be the current scapegoat for them failing to give their children an education and boundaries.

I grew up watching horror movies at my friends house, Lucan and I would watch nightmare on elm street movies on video (Yes video kids, none of this DVD/Blu ray shit that requires no rewinding) but we didn't feel the need to go and slice people up, because we had this gift I like to call common sense.

Why is it that a soldier can be trained to kill from the age of 16 (although not seeing combat until 18) but they can't use a control pad to guide some pixels around a screen to shoot some other pixels, with bullets made of pixels. Did you know there is currently no minimum age for shooting a shotgun in the UK, I could let my 4 year old son shoot a hole in a pigeon, take photographs of the wounds and let him pluck and eat it, and that would be acceptable in the eyes of the law.

So please, before you allow yourself to be swept along by a tidal wave of political softness and remove your child's outlet for expression please take a look at your child, really look at them and think do I know my child. If you do and you know that your child will not be affected by the content of the game, ignore the idiots.

If however you think that a video game will be the breaking of your child and turn them into a gun toting psychopath then I am sorry to tell you that no amount of video game banning will stop them from becoming the next Anders Breivik.





Next up, Trolling a LibDem political hopeful over immigration issues.