I read it and instantly the message resonated with me.
Greenpeace have decided to send 6 women to London to climb the shard, the tallest building in Great Britain, to prove some point about climate change and the oil and gas drilling in the arctic.
It made me chuckle when I saw the picture of the 6 intrepid explorers and their extensive array of climbing gear. Let us look at it in closer detail.
1) Climbing helmets - Made from Petrochemicals, a derivative of OIL
2) Nylon ropes - Made from Petrochemicals, a derivative of OIL
3) Climbing shoes - Rubber soles, made from Petrochemicals, a derivative of OIL
4) Kit bags - Synthetic material, Made from Petrochemicals, a derivative of OIL
5) Clothing - Made abroad and shipped here via boat, air or road, using large amounts of.... you guessed it! OIL!!!
I could go on and on and on about the things they are wearing but I won't, I'll switch my focus to the fact that it is highly likely they arrived for this feat of stupidity by either public transport or car as they are unlikely to have walked from the four corners of the earth. So let's look at that shall we.....
1) Bus - runs on Diesel, has rubber tyres, has oil lubricating the engine, multiple rubber parts, multiple plastic parts and artificial fabric for seating.
2) Train - runs on electricity which is supplied by either FOSSIL FUEL based power stations or NUCLEAR (which they apparently don't like either)
3) Plane - Don't even get me started.
4) Car - Pretty much the same as the bus.
Having just read another article on this story I can tell you that 4 of the climbers came to London from overseas to prove a point about the drilling for gas and oil..... They came from Belgium, Sweden, Holland and Poland. Now I am fairly sure that none of them swam and walked their sizeable journey, nor are they likely to have the command of a giant eagle to swoop down, pick them up tenderly in their mighty talons and fly them to London.
So unless they jumped on an elephant (animal abuse if I am thinking along their lines) or horse drawn carriage (the same) to get them to their destination I would suggest they have used products that have been made from the very thing they are trying to stop people from finding.
It never ceases to amaze me how dumb these people can be.
So I propose the following, we all go down to the shard, we construct watermelon catapults from wood, natural rubber and a cow hide sling (All sustainable and replaceable products) and charge the tourists £1 a shot to see if they can knock these hypocrites off of the side of the building.
The money that will be generated can probably pay for the advancement of research to find a way to power these energy stations with chewed up bus tickets, camel shit and pulped dolphin that light up the side of the building they are climbing in protest of drilling for the oil and gas they use on a daily basis.
We could always switch to wind farms, solar power or tidal generators, but then Greenpeace don't like us ruining the countryside either.
Well I'm off to the car to rev the shit out of the engine, people always moan that this country is too cold, let's use climate change in our favour and make England warmer!
