A few months ago I remember reading an article claiming that Cinema's are really struggling to stay open. They cited film piracy as a major reason. Well cinema's I have news for you, if you didn't charge the same price as a week in Australia to see a film maybe people wouldn't download films in such vast quantities!
Let's take cars II in 3D for example:
2 x Adult tickets @ £9.40 each (I mean really? I could nearly buy a new kidney for that much money!)
1 x Child's ticket @ £7.30 (because a child uses less of a seat??)
3 x 3D Glasses @ £0.80 each (Sorry? I don't get glasses included in the price? For £9.40 each I was expecting a fucking butler to hand feed me gold leafed popcorn!!!)
£28.50 for three of us to watch a film, that's not expensive it's theft, it's an absolute bloody rip off! I actually felt dirty and violated after reading the prices online and nearly had to have a shower! But the bastards are not finished there!!!
£0.70 each for a booking fee! Taking our spend on tickets and 3D glasses (they'd better be fucking designer!) to a staggering £30.60!
As if this isn't bad enough they have snack police on hand to confiscate your smuggled maltesers and drinks! Last time I went there was some fat bearded goon collecting tickets and looking in customers bags for any concealed dorito's. It felt like I was being ushered into a maximum security prison, never before have I had a cinema attendant checking out my meat and 2 veg with such scrutiny in case it was a hot dog lodged down my pants. I've got news for you fatso, it's not a dog........
I can see why people sneak chocolate and drinks in though, the prices are beyond a fucking joke now.
£1.50 for a small bottle of water, probably siphoned off from the drainage ditch at the back's of the colleges.
£4.00 for a couple of nachos in a tiny little cardboard tub, £3.50 for a bag of pissing Revels!
You'll need to take out a second mortgage for a small cup of pick 'n' mix at £45 per 10 grams! (OK I may have exaggerated that price a little, but not by much)
So yeah add on to the price of our tickets the following snacks:
1 x bottle of water @ £1.50
2 x Medium coca cola's (Diet for me, My body is a temple!) @ £2.55
1 x Revels @ £3.50
1 x Maltesers @ £3.50
1 x Popcorn @ £4.49
You have a grand total of £48.69 to watch a cartoon that lasts less than 2 hours! But wait, there's more! (I always loved that line off of the TV infomercials!) £5.20 for the parking!
£53.89 for 2 hours entertainment, I've not even seen hookers that charge that much money for 2 hours..... (not that I ever really looked too hard).
So in conclusion, Cinema's are legalised fraudsters. They rip us off in a huge way to watch something on a big screen in a seat that smells of piss and feels sticky to the touch. I'll wait for the DVD, let Katie sit 3" from the television and buy her a £1 bag of popcorn, Cine world.... GET FUCKED!
Goodnight and much love.
Dave.
